The story of Diana from two institutions he believes shaped—and ultimately damaged—her life: the British royal establishment and the British tabloid press.
1. The central argument: Diana became a public possession
One of the most powerful themes is Spencer's belief that Diana stopped being treated as a human being and became an institution-owned and media-owned commodity.
His account begins before the marriage. He remembers the extraordinary media attention when Diana's relationship with Charles became public. He describes photographers surrounding her and even taking her suitcase to discover her identity. Spencer interprets this as an early indication of what was coming: the press had discovered that Diana could generate enormous commercial value.
That is important because Spencer isn't simply saying:
"The newspapers reported too much about Diana."
His argument is broader:
Diana's fame created an economic and institutional ecosystem in which her private life became a product.
The more vulnerable she became, the more valuable the story became.
2. Spencer's criticism of the British media is particularly significant
Spencer portrays the 1980s and 1990s British press as undergoing a transformation.
Earlier generations of the British media had often maintained considerable discretion concerning the Royal Family. Spencer contrasts that culture with the aggressive tabloid environment that Diana encountered.
His description of the photographers who pursued Diana is especially revealing. He says that, from his perspective as her brother, they weren't simply journalists doing their jobs—they were intruding into the personal space of a young woman who had suddenly become globally famous.
And this leads to a much bigger question:
Who created "Princess Diana"?
The Royal Family?
Diana herself?
Or the British media?
The answer emerging from Spencer's memoir is essentially all three—but in very different ways.
The Palace gave Diana the institutional platform.
Diana supplied the personality, charisma and emotional connection.
The media transformed those qualities into a global commercial phenomenon.
3. But Spencer doesn't portray Diana as completely passive
This is one of the more interesting aspects of the book.
It would be easy to tell a simple story:
innocent Diana → cruel Royal Family → evil newspapers.
Spencer's account is more complicated.
Diana understood the power of publicity.
She learned how to communicate with journalists.
She understood photographs.
She understood public emotion.
And, as the marriage deteriorated, she increasingly used the media environment to tell her own story.
This connects directly to the earlier Diana publishing controversy involving Andrew Morton's Diana: Her True Story.
It is now well established that Diana cooperated indirectly with Morton through friends and associates, while initially maintaining the appearance that she had not participated in the book. Later evidence and recordings established the extent of her involvement.
So there is a fascinating paradox:
Diana was simultaneously a victim of the media and an increasingly sophisticated participant in the media system.
That distinction matters.
4. Spencer's portrayal of the Royal Family is much harsher
The book's most explosive material concerns the relationship between Diana and the Royal Family—and particularly Charles.
Spencer portrays Diana as entering an institution that was emotionally difficult for her to navigate.
He argues that Diana needed affection, acceptance and reassurance but encountered an environment dominated by protocol, hierarchy, tradition and emotional restraint.
The contrast is striking.
Diana's public personality became increasingly emotional and human.
The monarchy represented continuity, discipline and institutional control.
That created a structural conflict.
Diana became extraordinarily popular precisely because she behaved differently from the institution surrounding her.
That may ultimately be one of the central historical arguments of Spencer's book.
5. The most controversial allegation: "We'll forget her soon enough"
This is probably the single most politically and historically explosive claim in the memoir.
Spencer alleges that shortly after Diana's death in 1997, during an argument over the funeral arrangements, then-Prince Charles told him:
"We'll forget her soon enough."
Spencer says the statement demonstrated Charles's attitude toward Diana and the extraordinary public reaction to her death.
But this needs to be treated carefully.
It is Spencer's recollection nearly three decades after the event, not an independently established historical fact.
Buckingham Palace has disputed the characterization and responded that grief can affect recollection. Spencer has rejected that explanation and maintains that he remembers the words accurately.
So historically, there are two separate questions:
Did Spencer sincerely remember Charles saying it?
Very likely—that is his stated position.
Can we independently establish that Charles actually said it exactly as Spencer remembers?
That is much harder.
That distinction is essential when evaluating the memoir.
6. The funeral becomes a symbol of the whole Diana story
Spencer's disagreement over William and Harry walking behind their mother's coffin is especially revealing.
William was 15.
Harry was 12.
Spencer says he opposed their participation because he believed it was inappropriate to make two grieving children participate in such a public spectacle.
The argument became symbolic of something larger:
Who was the funeral actually for?
Was it for Diana's family?
Her sons?
The Royal Family?
Or the British public?
The funeral was simultaneously a private tragedy and a gigantic national spectacle.
Spencer's position was that William and Harry should have been protected from the machinery of the spectacle.
That connects directly to his criticism of the media.
7. Spencer sees a connection between Diana and Harry
There is an important generational argument here.
Spencer sees similarities between the treatment Diana received from the British press and the later treatment of Prince Harry and Meghan.
But there is an important distinction.
Diana's media environment was primarily:
- newspapers
- paparazzi
- television
- tabloids
- Fleet Street
Harry's environment includes all of those plus social media, online publications, digital video and global real-time commentary.
So the fundamental problem Spencer identifies—the transformation of private human beings into commercial media products—has arguably become even larger.
8. The Royal Family versus the media is not actually a simple "good versus evil" story
This is where I think Spencer's book becomes historically interesting.
There are actually three competing power centres:
1. The Palace
It controlled access, protocol, information and institutional legitimacy.
2. Diana
She possessed enormous personal charisma and eventually understood the value of public communication.
3. The press
It controlled attention and could dramatically influence public perceptions.
Diana was caught between these forces.
The Royal Family wanted institutional stability.
Diana increasingly wanted emotional authenticity and independence.
The media wanted access to the most valuable celebrity story in Britain.
And the public wanted more Diana.
That combination became extraordinarily unstable.
9. The tragedy is that the media needed Diana to remain interesting
This is perhaps the most uncomfortable part of the story.
Diana's humanitarian work generated enormous positive attention.
But conflict generated even more attention.
Marriage problems.
Charles.
Camilla.
The divorce.
Her relationships.
Her clothing.
Her friendships.
Her children.
Her interviews.
Her photographs.
Every development could become another newspaper headline.
Therefore, the same media machinery that helped make Diana globally influential also created enormous pressure around her private life.
Spencer's book essentially asks us to look at this as a system rather than a series of isolated newspaper scandals.
10. But Spencer himself is part of the media system
This is an important criticism of the memoir.
Spencer condemns the commercialization of Diana's private life while publishing previously undisclosed information about her and the Royal Family.
That creates an unavoidable contradiction.
Critics have already raised questions about whether the memoir itself commercially benefits from reopening Diana's story almost 30 years after her death.
Spencer's response, essentially, is that he is not exploiting Diana but preserving the historical record and defending her memory.
Both things can potentially be true.
He can genuinely love and want to defend his sister and the book can generate enormous commercial value.
Those aren't mutually exclusive.
11. The book is also about Charles Spencer himself
This is easy to miss.
The title is Diana, My Sister, not simply The Truth About Diana.
Spencer is writing as:
the little brother who watched his sister become Princess of Wales, global celebrity and finally "the People's Princess."
That gives the memoir emotional power—but also creates its biggest limitation.
He is not an objective historian.
He is a participant.
He loved Diana.
He was deeply involved in the aftermath of her death.
He delivered the famous 1997 funeral eulogy.
And he has his own complicated relationship with the Royal Family and aristocratic establishment.
Therefore, his account should be read as primary-source testimony, not as the final historical verdict.
12. The most important historical question
For me, the deepest question raised by Spencer's memoir is not:
"Was Charles cruel to Diana?"
It is:
Did the British establishment understand what it had created in Princess Diana?
Diana was extraordinary because she possessed something the traditional monarchy had difficulty manufacturing:
direct emotional legitimacy with ordinary people.
She could enter a hospital, touch an AIDS patient, visit a homeless shelter, walk through a minefield or embrace a child—and the symbolism was immediately understandable.
She made monarchy personal.
But once she became more popular than the institution itself, the relationship between Diana the woman and Diana the royal institution became increasingly difficult.
13. My overall reading of Spencer's argument
I would reduce the book's thesis to four propositions:
| Issue | Spencer's perspective |
|---|---|
| Diana | A loving, charismatic and fundamentally humane woman who was poorly protected |
| Royal Family | An institution whose traditions and emotional culture contributed to Diana's isolation |
| British media | An increasingly aggressive commercial machine that turned Diana's private life into a commodity |
| Her death | The culmination of a long period in which Diana's personal vulnerability, royal conflict and media obsession collided |
But there is a fifth proposition that deserves attention:
Diana was not merely a victim.
She became an extraordinarily sophisticated communicator who understood that public opinion could give her leverage against an institution much more powerful than herself.
That makes her story considerably more complicated—and more historically interesting.
One particularly important point
Spencer's memoir should not be treated as proof that every allegation about the Royal Family or the British media is true.
Instead, I would put it alongside:
- Andrew Morton's Diana: Her True Story
- Diana's 1995 BBC Panorama interview
- the Martin Bashir controversy and subsequent Dyson investigation
- contemporary newspaper archives
- the official records surrounding Diana's divorce
- the 1997 funeral
- the subsequent inquiries into her death
- later biographies and accounts by royal correspondents
That allows us to distinguish Diana's own voice, Spencer's memories, journalistic reporting, Palace accounts and independently established facts.
And that comparison could produce a much bigger article:
"Princess Diana: The Royal Family, Fleet Street and the Making of the World's Most Famous Princess"
It would examine how the monarchy, Diana and the British media each helped create the Diana phenomenon—and how that relationship ultimately became impossible to control.
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